


It's You

by Zenparadox



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-14
Packaged: 2018-05-19 05:20:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5955148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zenparadox/pseuds/Zenparadox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the calzona50ways Be My Valentine Challenge </p><p>"you are whatever a moon has always meant<br/>and whatever a sun will always sing is you"</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Whatever a Moon

**Whatever a Moon**

Arizona was experiencing deja-vu-- a very serious, very unwelcome deja-vu. An almost panic inducing deja-vu. She was standing in an airport in Spokane with a group of her colleagues, all about to get on a private jet back to Seattle post a successful surgery separating conjoined twins, and she was going to have a panic attack. Unfortunately, there was no one here to talk her down. No one that understood. Mark and Derek were dead, Cristina long gone, and Meredith, she was the smart one. Meredith hadn’t made the trip.

To be fair, Arizona hadn’t intended to make the trip either, but the surgery couldn’t be postponed. So yesterday morning, when Alex woke up with a 102 degree fever and a severe bout of the stomach flu, Arizona was forced to step back into the role of pediatric surgical genius, a role she wore easily.

She looked around at the faces of her fellow surgeons who’d made the trip. Jackson Avery and April Kepner were standing as far apart as two people could while still considered to be standing in the same group. Both seem anxious to get home and go back to their separate abodes. Richard Webber had the undivided attention of the two residents that had made the trip: Stephanie Edwards, and Perfect Penny Blake. Arizona closed her eyes and took a moment from her coming panic to chastise herself for that thought. Penny had more than redeemed herself in the eyes of everyone, except maybe Amelia, who stood off to side chatting quietly with Maggie Pierce.  

When Arizona opened her eyes again her gaze fell on a pair of concerned eyes staring back at her. In another life, she was intimately familiar with those brown eyes. Now… that life was long gone, and every day she was reminded how much she missed it and regretted losing it. But the way Callie was watching her, that life didn’t seem as far away. Callie regarded her knowingly. Callie could see into her. She was aware of the brewing panic.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“Fine,” Arizona replied. “I’m fine.”

Callie didn’t acknowledge Arizona’s words. She knew the blonde was anything but ‘fine’ right now. She started to take a step toward Arizona but was interrupted.

“Callie,” Penny called, effectively breaking the eye contact the two exes had been sharing. “We’re boarding.”

She turned to the resident and said, “In a minute.”

“They really want us to board now, they are trying to take off before the storm.”

“I said I’d be there in a minute,” Callie snapped back. Arizona was surprised at the vehemence of Callie’s words. Callie seemed to be surprised too, and immediately softened, “You guys go ahead, I’ll be right there.”

While the others boarded the plane back to Seattle, Arizona stood frozen in her spot, unable to make her body move in the direction of the plane.

“Arizona?” Callie said softly. “It’s time to go.”

“I can’t.”

“Sure you can,” Callie gently touched the other woman’s arm. “You flew out here no problem. It’s an hour flight, then we’ll be home.”

Arizona wanted to reply that she would never be home, not really. Not without Callie. But what actually came out was again, “I… can’t.”

“Why?” Callie asked. “What’s different?”

“The storm. A feeling. I can’t explain it, Callie. I just… I can’t get on that plane. Not now. Not tonight.”

“Okay,” Callie tried to calm the other woman before she went into a full on panic attack. “What do you want to do?”

“Stay. I’ll drive. I’ll… go get a hotel… or whatever. The storm won’t last forever. I’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’ll be fine. You go… get on the plane. The others are waiting.”

Again, Callie asked, “Are you sure you’ll be okay?”

“Yes, you should go get on that plane. With your girlfriend.” Arizona didn’t know why she added that last part. It wasn’t needed. Callie knew who was on the plane.

Callie just nodded in reply. She turned and headed toward the copilot who was waiting to help her board.

***

Arizona stepped out of the small private airport and tightened her coat around her to protect against the chill. She sucked in a few deep breaths of the cold Washington air to assist in diminishing her waning panic. Once she had herself settled, she looked around for a taxi. Finding none in sight she asked an airport attendant who radioed to the taxi waiting area to send someone up straight away.

Arizona shivered as she waited for her cab to arrive. Behind her she heard the roar of jet engines as the small plane lifted off the runway and into the cold February night. She glanced skyward, and watched the blinking lights as they rose through the newly falling snow. She couldn’t let herself think about the fact that she’d let Callie get on a plane that she herself was afraid of. She told herself it didn’t matter because her panic was irrational-- the plane was fine. Especially now that she wasn’t on it.

After a few moments a cab pulled up beside the curb. The driver stepped out and asked if she was his fare, to which she nodded an affirmative. He came around the car and opened the door to help her in.

Arizona slid into the seat, but before the cabby could shut the door behind her, she heard a commotion outside.

“Wait… wait… hold the cab!”

Arizona ducked her head and looked out of the opened door to see Callie running toward the car.

“Is there room in there for two?” she asked, slightly out of breath.

The driver looked to Arizona, whose stunned expression transitioned into one of relief. Callie was safe. “Yeah. Sure, come on. Uh… get in.” She scooted across the seat so Callie could get in.

Once seated the driver closed the door, leaving the two women alone for a moment.

“What are you doing here?” Arizona asked.

“I couldn’t let you stay here by yourself.”

“Callie,” Arizona growled through gritted teeth, “you couldn’t let me?” Her relief rapidly changed to anger. Callie hadn’t gotten off the plane to feel safe, Callie had gotten off the plane because she didn’t think Arizona could do it alone. “I can handle a night alone just fine. I don’t need a babysitter. I’ve had a lot of practice being alone.”

“I know you don’t need me,” Callie said. “I know… but I… I wanted to be here. _I couldn’t leave you._ ” Which, was apparently the wrong thing for Callie to say.

“That’s rich,” Arizona bristled. “You should have gotten on the plane,” she said with finality. Turning away from Callie, Arizona forced herself to look out the window, refusing to make anymore eye contact with the bewildered brunette.

The cabby got in and asked, “Where to?”

“I need to rent a car, and maybe get a hotel for the night,” Arizona answered without looking away from whatever was so interesting outside the window.

“And you?” He looked to Callie.

Stunned by Arizona’s sudden anger, Callie just sat there in silence contemplating her next move. “I uh... ,” she so was unsure and hurt by Arizona’s reaction, all she could manage was a quiet, “I don’t know.”

Arizona sighed, her anger dissipating as quickly as it came, “Just get us to a car rental place, we’ll figure the rest out there.”

***

The two women stood at the car rental place waiting for the attendant to return. Neither had said a word to each other since they got in the cab. Arizona’s initial burst anger at Callie had subsided, but the irritation remained. She wasn’t sure who she was more irritated at, though, herself for falling prey to her fears, or Callie for thinking she needed protecting. The truth was she was embarrassed by both. She was embarrassed that she panicked. She was embarrassed that Callie had thought she to had stay. She was also ashamed that she had effectively ruined Callie’s weekend. Despite knowing all of this, she didn’t feel like being the bigger person. She knew she was deflecting, she was aware, but couldn’t stop herself, nonetheless.

“Okay, here’s your keys and rental agreement. It’s the last all wheel drive we have, it’s a good one, but there’s no way you are getting all the way back to Seattle in that storm tonight.”

“It doesn’t look that bad,” Arizona said. She was being stubborn, but she wanted to get Callie home as soon as possible. “It was only calling for a few inches.”

“Oh, no ma’am,” the young man said, “haven’t you heard the latest forecast?”

“We were in surgery all day,” Callie said. “Over at Sacred Heart Children’s. Ten straight hours.”

“Well then, you are in for a bit bad news then.”

“What?” Arizona’s shoulder slumped.

“Now, I’m not weather guy by any means, but from what I hear the moisture keeps pouring in from off the coast, and the snow totals are up to twelve plus inches.”

“A foot of snow?”

“Or more.”

“What about in Seattle?” Callie asked. She was worried about Sofia and the nanny having enough food in the house.

“Mostly rain in Seattle, as usual. The change over to snow is east of the mountains. Which again, even if you made it all the way to Ellenburg before it got bad, which you probably won’t, you’d never get over Snoqualmie Pass.”

“Okay, so we just book a couple of rooms and stay here until it passes,” Callie suggested.

“Good luck with that,” the attendant said.

“What do you mean?” Arizona asked.

“That gentleman that left just before you got here booked the last room at the Davenport. It’s the best in town. I know you ladies don’t look like the Motel 8 type…”

“We don’t need anything fancy,” Arizona interjected.

“But even those are booked,” he finished.

“So, what do you recommend?” Callie asked. She could tell Arizona was getting upset, and wanted to find them a solution before it escalated too far.

“Let me make a couple phone calls for you, and see what I can do.”

“Make sure it’s clean, and… money’s no object. We can pay whatever.”

“Will do,” he replied, then went into the back to make the calls.

Callie turned to the frustrated blonde and said,”It’s going to be fine Arizona.”

“Just stop.”

“Stop what?”

“Protecting me.”

“I’m… I’m not trying to protect you.”

“You are, Callie. You so are and it’s not your job. I’m not yours to protect.”

“So what do you want me to do? We’re both stuck here…”

“Because of me,” Arizona growled.

“You are here because of you, Arizona. I’m here because of me. I made the choice to stay.”

“Because you didn't’ think I could handle it alone!”

“No! God! Because…”

The young man chose that moment to walk back into the room, “Okay, good news.” His steps faltered as if he felt the tension in the room. “Everything okay out here?”

“Fine, everything's… fine,” Arizona said. Her eyes stayed locked with Callie’s for a beat, then she turned to the helpful clerk. “What’s the good news?”

“There a lodge, out by Silver Lake-- just outside of town-- that has a couple of rooms still available. It’s kind of rustic, but nice. It’s run by a couple of eccentric old ladies. Sisters maybe? I’m not sure, but they said to head on out. The address is here,” he handed Callie a piece of paper. “It’s right off the interstate. Not hard to find at all.”

“Great, thank you for all your help,” Arizona said. Her tone was short, but sincere. She really wanted to get somewhere and just be by herself and cry. She couldn’t believe she’d gotten them into this mess.

“Yes, thank you,” Callie added. “Oh, wait… one more question. Is there a department store close by that’s open? We’re still in our scrubs. We need some clothes. We didn’t bring anything with us.”

“There’s a Macy’s in the mall behind us. They close in,” he looked at his watch, “half and hour. If you hurry, you can get what you need. I’d uh… get a couple days worth. I received an alert on my phone when I was in the back, they’ve upped the snow totals again. Eighteen to twenty-four. They’re calling it the Perfect Storm.”

“Wonderful,” Arizona sighed. “Just perfect.” She left the rental place without so much as another word.

“Thanks again,” Callie said, her eyes on Arizona’s retreating form.

“Is she okay?” the clerk asked.

“She’s… wonderful,” Callie watched as Arizona carefully tread through the dusting of snow that was already on the ground and couldn’t help but smile. She knew Arizona was mad and frustrated with both of them, but regardless of how the other woman felt, Callie was elated at potentially being stuck with the blonde for two days. She’d been wanting some time alone to talk for weeks, but hadn’t gotten the nerve to ask. This had been an opportunity she couldn’t pass up. “Just perfect.”

***

Arizona had insisted on driving, and was waiting in the car after their stop at Macy’s. She’d pulled the car up the exit, while Callie finished paying for her purchases. Arizona had grabbed the bare minimum of what she would need, but Callie came out with three extra large shopping bags full of clothes and other necessities. Arizona sighed at the sight, “Did you buy the whole damn store?” Callie ignored her and loaded her bags in the back seat.

“You may be willing to wear the same thing for several days, but I’m not going to if I don’t have to.”

“We’ll be out of there and on our way back to Seattle by tomorrow night,” Arizona declared soundly, even though she wasn’t as confident as she pretended. “We have to be.”

“Why do we have to be?” Callie asked. “You can’t stand to be around me for two days? I thought we were okay?”

Arizona didn’t answer, she just put the car in drive and slowly pulled away from the curb.

“Can you just put the coordinates in the GPS, so we can get to this lodge?”

“As you wish,” Callie replied, her tone slightly impish to match Arizona’s demeanor.

“What’d you say?” Arizona’s expression showed both irritation and confusion.

“I said ‘as you wish’ as in, I’ll do whatever you want. You want me to man the GPS, I’ll man the GPS,” Callie said. She put the coordinates in, then leaned back into her seat.

Arizona’s nostrils flared, but didn’t say anything. She willed herself to calm down, so she could drive safely. It was slow going, until they reached the interstate, where she was able to pick up a little speed as the roads had been salted and prepared for the storm.

Callie kept her eyes out the window, only glancing occasionally the blonde. She wanted to allow her eyes to roam Arizona face, which held an intense expression, but she knew it wasn’t the time. Arizona needed to concentrate on the road ahead of her.

What Callie didn't realize was that Arizona was stealing glances too. She couldn't help it. Callie was as beautiful as ever, and despite her irritation, Arizona wanted nothing more than to bask in the sight of it.

***

Forty-five minutes outside of Spokane, they pulled up to the small lodge that sat on Silver Lake called The Silver Moon Lodge.

The snow was falling steadily and accumulating quickly. Callie grabbed the bags, while Arizona carefully made her way up the front steps of the ornate lodge. She waited on the covered front porch for Callie to get their things, not wanting to leave the other woman outside alone, despite the warm glow coming from the window calling to her. She could see two older women watching her from behind a counter at the front. One was a sixty-something year old woman, whose short dark hair was frosted with grey. Her smile was warm and curious and she had the air of a favorite aunt who indulged young children too much. The other woman seemed more serious in nature, perhaps due to her sandy blonde hair being pulled into a tight bun. Both were close in age. It was obvious to Arizona they weren’t sisters, and she couldn’t help but wonder if they were more than business partners.

***

Inside the lodge, the woman with short greying hair strained to see out the window.

“Stop being so nosey,” her counterpart said. “They’ll be in soon enough.”

“Are they the ones?”

“I’m sure they are,” she replied, “Can’t you feel it?”

“I do,” the greying brunette acknowledged. “So, the Moon Lodge?”

“It’s been waiting.”

“That it has.”

***

Callie and Arizona pushed through the large door at the front of the lodge and were greeted by two radiant smiles and one excited golden retriever.

Arizona was startled by the dog running toward them, and unconsciously leaned toward Callie to gain some stability if the dog were to jump.

“Mr. Reese, get back over here,” the blonde chastised. The dog immediately stopped his charge, but didn’t retreat. He stood in front of them, tail wagging. “I’m so sorry about him.”

“He just loves people,” the other woman said. “He means you no harm.”

“It’s okay, I was just startled,” Arizona said.

“That’s Mr. Reese,” the greying brunette said as she gently nudged the dog to go lay back down by the fire. She held out her hand for Callie and Arizona to shake. “I’m Luna, and that,” she pointed to the other woman who remained behind the counter, “is my partner, Helina,”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Callie sincerely replied. “I’m Callie and this is Arizona.”

“Such beautiful names.”

“We um… we’re here for a couple of rooms,” Arizona said. “The guy at the car rental place called and said you had some available.”

“Oh, well now…,” the two women shared a look. “That’s not exactly true,” Helina said.

“We only have one available, I’m afraid.”

“What?” Arizona groaned. How was she going to spend the night in the same room as Callie? She’d never survive.

“We’ll take it,” Callie said, grateful to have a warm place to sleep. And to be close to Arizona.

***

They followed Luna down a snow covered path that lead towards Silver Lake to a small cabin, with a covered front porch, that looked out over the shimmering water.

“Ed, our groundskeeper, will try to keep this path clear if you should need us for any reason, but the cabin is stocked due to a last minute cancelation. And when I say stocked… I mean full bar, food, and entertainment.”

“We get a whole cabin to ourselves?” Arizona asked. Maybe it wouldn’t be as bad as she thought.

“Yes, it’s the honeymoon lodge, actually.”

“Great,” Arizona had to chuckle. This couldn't get anymore awkward for her and her _ex-wife_.

Callie laughed as well, the irony not missed by either of them. “What happened to the couple that rented it?”

“I’m not sure exactly. The woman called this afternoon and said they weren’t coming. She paid for all the food and booze we stocked it with and said to rent it some other schmucks. So I assume whatever happened, wasn’t good. You’re the lucky schmucks.”

When they entered the cabin, Callie and Arizona were both awestruck. Though small in size, the room was open and warm. A fire already burning in the fireplace drew the two women further into the cabin.

Luna pointed out all of the amenities, “There’s the small, but fully functional kitchen, and the bar is there beside it,” she pointed to a glass enclosed room on the left-hand side, “a two person heart shaped hot tub is out there, with the shower and toilet in the private area behind it. And up that staircase is the open loft with a king sized bed.”

“Wow, this place is gorgeous.”

“We try,” the older woman smiled. “Oh, uh… Ed has the firewood stacked and under the cover of the back porch. Do you know how to handle a fireplace?”

“We do,” Arizona said. She looked around and swallowed hard. This place was so romantic. She wished… she wished she and Callie were here _together_ , instead of just here at the same time.

“I’m going to head back up to the main lodge before the snow gets too bad to see. If you need anything, we are just a call away,” Luna pointed to the old school red dial phone sitting by the front door. “You ladies enjoy yourselves.”

***

Arizona was in the kitchen heating up some gourmet soup she found in the refrigerator. It was from a local restaurant and smelled delicious. They were both starving, but neither wanted to fix much as it was getting late.

Callie was on Facetime with the nanny, making sure her and Sofia were good for a few days without them if it came to that.

“We are fine, Dr. Torres.”

Arizona could hear the confidence in Sydney’s voice. They both trusted the young college student with their daughter, but Callie was feeling a little guilty at asking her to stay, especially given the short notice.

“Are you sure,” Callie asked. “Because I could maybe get someone to come pick her up.”

“I don’t have class until Monday, and no boyfriend, so no plans for Sunday either. Sofia and I will have a great time. Don’t worry.”

Arizona felt her stomach drop at the mention of Sunday. God how she wished Callie had just gotten on that plane and gone back to Seattle with her girlfriend. Then Arizona wouldn’t have to feel such guilt at ruining Callie’s Valentine’s Day.

Callie didn’t seem concerned, though, which gave Arizona pause for thought. Had she forgotten that Sunday was Valentine’s Day? They never missed one when they were together. Arizona figured that Callie must not have realized that she would be missing her first Valentine’s Day with her new perfect girlfriend. She must have forgotten what Sunday was. Her stomach turned at the thought. Now she would have to bear witness to Callie’s disappointment when she did realize. That was something she’d hoped to never see, much less be the cause of, again.

***

Callie ended her call with the nanny and joined Arizona at the small table for two. They ate their soup in silence until Arizona could hold it in no longer.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

Callie stopped her rising spoon just before it reached her mouth and asked, “For what?”

“I ruined your weekend, Callie, and now you are stuck here with me,” she stared into warm brown eyes.

“Being with you is not a hardship, Arizona,” Callie softly answered.

Arizona’s brow furrowed, “It was two years ago.”

“That was different,” Callie put her spoon back in her soup. She wanted to give Arizona her full attention. They both deserved it. “We are both different people now. What I felt then… I no longer feel. I’ve grown… changed. And I think you have too. What’s happening now has nothing to do with then.”

“I know,” Arizona sighed. “I’m sorry. You’re right. It’s just… if we don’t get out of here…,” she sighed again. As hard as she tried not to be, deep down she was a people pleaser. It was difficult for her to face someone she’d let down, which was how she earned the reputation of a bailer. It was easier to avoid and not talk about the hard stuff, because if she wasn’t talking she wasn’t disappointing. And the last person in the world she ever wanted to disappoint again was Callie. But, Callie deserved honesty. “I’m sorry, Callie. I know I’ve been grumpy and lashing out at you since the airport… it’s just… I feel really bad for possibly ruining your Valentine’s Day. You deserve better. Penny deserves better.”

“Oh, that’s right…Valentine’s Day is Sunday,” Callie was slightly taken aback at Arizona's confession of guilt over ruining her Valentines’ day. She had assumed Arizona’s grumpiness had everything to do with not wanting Callie’s help or company, not because she felt responsible for Callie missing out on something she should have been looking forward to. Oh, how wrong Arizona had it.

“Maybe…,” Arizona ventured. “Maybe it will clear up enough tomorrow, that we can get you back to Seattle by Sunday afternoon, and… and you could still spend the evening with Penny.”

“Arizona, you saw the forecast. It’s supposed to snow all night tonight and all day tomorrow and not stop until Sunday morning. Luna said the plows won’t even get here until Sunday evening sometime. We have to face it. We aren’t getting home until Monday at the earliest.”

“Penny is going to hate me.”

“She won’t.”

“Oh, she absolutely will,” Arizona said emphatically. “Trust me. If you were mine and your ex was keeping us apart for Valentine’s Day. I’d _hate_ them.”

“Arizona,” Callie took a deep breath. It was time to spill the beans. “Penny and I broke up weeks ago. She’s not going to hate you.”

“What? You… you and Penny broke up?” Arizona shook her head. She couldn’t quite grasp what Callie was saying. “You broke up?”

“Yes.”

“Why…? Why didn’t you tell anyone?”

“No one asked,” Callie shrugged, a bit of hurt still lingered over the fact. “No one cares.”

“I’m sorry,” Arizona said, her sincerity evident. She tentatively reached across the small table to squeeze Callie’s hand in a small show of support.

“I’m not,” Callie answered just as sincerely. She squeezed Arizona's hand back.

***

Their day had started before dawn in Seattle, consisted of an early flight, a ten hour surgery, and a last minute change of plans that finally had them ending the day stuck in a quiet cabin in the middle of Washington state, while a blizzard raged on outside their windows. They were both exhausted.

Callie wanted to talk more, but tonight wasn’t the time. They’d have all of tomorrow to reacquaint themselves. Arizona insisted that she take the loft, Callie had protested, of course, but Arizona would have none of it. She had gotten them into this, she claimed, so it was her duty to take the sofa. Arizona was so tired, it honestly didn’t matter where she slept. Her eyes were going shut the minute she laid her head on the pillow.

***

Callie banked the fire, then made sure Arizona was settled. She was curled up on the couch under a soft blanket, her eyes closed and her breathing was steady. Callie wanted nothing more than to sit in the chair opposite and watch her sleep… or pull her into her arms and hold her, but she couldn’t. Not yet. Maybe not ever, but she had hope. She pulled the blanket up to cover Arizona’s bare shoulders, then moved a stray lock of blonde hair out of the her face.

After she was sure everything was settled, she slowly climbed the stairs to the loft. Before she reached the bed, she chanced one last glance over the balcony and was surprised to find Arizona sitting up and staring up at her. Callie tilted her head in question, and Arizona immediately responded.

“I care, Callie,” she said.  

“I know you do,” Callie smiled wistfully, “I know.” She stepped back from the balcony, turned out the light, and crawled into bed. She lay flat on her back in the dark and allowed her smile, along with her hope, to grow.

***

End of Part 1


	2. Whatever a Sun

******Whatever a Sun**

Callie’s eyes fluttered open to an unfamiliar room, but in short order she remembered where she was and why. The noise that had awoken her, however, she thought she recognized right away. She got out of bed and made her way down the stairs, where her senses were immediately overwhelmed by the smell of coffee and frying bacon.

“Hi,” Arizona greeted. She stood behind the island stove, holding a spatula and looking adorable in her newly purchased sleep pants and camisole top. “I cooked. Oh, and here’s some coffee.” She grabbed and mug and poured Callie a cup. She pushed it across the island to within Callie’s reach.

“Mmmm,” she moaned into her first sip. “This is really good coffee.”

“Yeah,” Arizona agreed. “Whoever originally booked this place had good taste.”

Another loud rumble from outside made Callie jump. “That’s thunder, right?” She asked.

“Yeah,” Arizona started plating the breakfast. “It’s been doing it for about an hour. Sit,” she pointed to the table, “I hope you are hungry.”

“I’m starving,” Callie did as she was told and took her coffee to the small table, but before she sat down she glanced out the large windows facing the lake and then to the side where the snow had piled up against the fence. “Oh my god, Arizona! Have you seen how much snow is out there?”

“Yeah,” she answered. Callie could pick up neither excitement nor disappointment in her voice. It was almost if she were forcing herself to remain neutral, which tempered Callie’s excitement.

“I’ve never heard it thunder during a snowstorm before. Of course…,” Callie really wanted to engage Arizona in conversation. She was excited about this weekend and wanted Arizona to share that feeling. She wanted so badly for Arizona to be an active participant in what she hoped would lead to something more between them. She hoped that they could become more than the courteous exes they had been of late. Even if it were just a better understanding of who they are now, and it didn’t lead back to them, Callie wanted to take advantage of this weekend to bring them closer again. “I’ve never really been in a blizzard before, so maybe it’s normal?”

Arizona delivered the two plates, then went back to the kitchen for her coffee. When she sat down across of Callie.

“Hmm, I don’t think it’s typical, but it’s also not unusual,” Arizona took a bite of her scrambled eggs. Callie took that as her cue to start eating too.

“These are really good,” Callie complimented the eggs.

“Thanks,” Arizona said, her gaze moved to the window and she smiled warmly, as if recalling a pleasant memory.

“What?” Callie asked softly.

“Nothing,” Arizona shook her head, but Callie was looking at her with such longing, such hope, she couldn’t help but share. She wanted to. She wanted to share it all again, but she was afraid. Afraid of opening up only to be cut-off at the knees again.

Callie accepted Arizona’s denial, “That’s okay.” She was saddened, but instinctively understood.

But this memory. This wasn’t a life altering memory. This wasn’t soul revealing. She could share this. All she had to do was… “I… I uh… remember it thundering once during a snowstorm when dad was stationed at Quantico, in Virginia. There was a Nor’easter…,” at Callie’s raised eyebrows, she explained, “It’s a blizzard, but they come up the coast like a hurricane. This one had lots of snow and ice and thunder… But, the worst part, by far, was the wind. The wind blew so hard you couldn’t see anything but white out the windows. It howled and made our small house creak and groan. It was literally snowing sideways at some points. I was terrified. It snowed for days like that; we got at least two feet, maybe more. It felt like more. Tim and I missed a week of school, because mid-atlantic states just aren’t prepared for such large amounts of snow,” she smiled wistfully. “I’ll never forget it.”

Callie loved when Arizona talked about her family. She missed it. She wanted more.

“How old were you?”

“Ten, maybe eleven. What about you? Not much snow in Miami, I bet?”

Callie laughed, and Arizona’s heart took off in her chest. She missed it. She wanted more.

“The first time I experienced and actual full-on snowstorm was in Seattle,” Callie pulled at a piece of bacon. “Of course, Daddy used to take us skiing, so I wasn’t a snow newbie, but it’s different when you see it from the beginning. When you watch as it accumulates and grows. It’s beautiful.” She popped the bacon in her mouth and smiled as she chewed.

“Yeah,” Arizona agreed, her gaze falling to Callie’s mouth.

Callie, noticing Arizona’s eyes on her mouth, picked up her napkin and wiped at her lips, “I uh… I got stuck at the hospital long after my shift was over. But it was good. Lots of broken bones for an eager young intern interested in orthopedics.”

“You knew that early?” Arizona pushed the remnants of her eggs around on the plate. Callie smiled knowingly. Arizona was finished eating. She always played with her food when she was full.

“Oh, yeah,” Callie nodded and took another sip of her coffee.

“Me too,” Arizona agreed. “These residents today. They’re well rounded, I’ll give them that, but none of them want to commit.”

“Right. I think Wilson would be good in orthopedics, but she keeps going back to peds rotations for Alex.” Callie leaned back in her chair and waited for Arizona to respond. She loved to watch the other woman speak.

“If he spent more time with her outside of the hospital, she wouldn’t be so desperate for his attention at work.”

“Mmm, yeah. He has been spending a lot of time with Meredith.”

“How is she doing?” Arizona asked. She put her fork down, admitting defeat--there was no way she was finishing her eggs.

“I was going to ask you the same thing,” Callie bit her lip, “We don’t… not since, you know. I’m not her favorite person of late.”

“I’m sorry,” Arizona said. “That’s not really fair to you.”

“She can’t help how she feels,” Callie shrugged. “Sometimes feelings aren’t fair. Sometimes you just have to feel them anyway. I hope she comes around, but if she doesn’t? I’ll survive. I always do.”

“You certainly do.”

Arizona got up and took her plate to the sink, while Callie finished up the rest of her food. Callie soon joined her and they did the dishes together in companionable silence. Their familiar routine took over, one they’d practiced for years, the dishes were finished, the food put away, and the kitchen spotless in a matter of minutes.

Callie looked around the small cabin and sighed, trying to come up with something for them to do. Something to keep the other woman talking, or at least something to keep the silence from turning uncomfortable.

While Callie was wracking her brain for ideas, Arizona decided to just confront the issue straight on. “What do we do now?”

Callie shrugged, “I don’t know… we could… get some more coffee and maybe… catch up? We haven’t had a real conversation in a long time.”

“Years,” Arizona informed. “It’s been years.”

***

Arizona stoked the fire to get it burning high and hot. The house had cooled overnight and the wind outside was pushing more cold in around the windows and door.

Callie was in the kitchen fixing them more coffee and while it brewed she Facetimed Sydney and Sofia.

“Mami!” the young girl’s face was filling the whole screen. “Where are you? Are you working?”

“No… Mami’s kind of stuck in a snowstorm. I’m going to be here a few days.”

“Is’not snowing!” The girl shook her head ‘no’.

“It is here,” Callie smiled. “You want to see?”

“Yeah!” Sofia yelled. She dropped the phone in her excitement, and by the time Sydney had it righted for her again, Callie had carried the phone over to the window. When Sofia looked again, all she could see was the winter wonderland outside.

“Wow, Mami,” Sofia giggled. “Build a snowman!”

“It’s still snowing too hard right now for that, but... guess who else is here?” Callie beckoned for Arizona to join her, she wanted to surprise Sofia.

“Santa?”

“No,” Callie chuckled. “Christmas was two months ago, silly, you know that. Santa is back at the north pole.” Callie looked up from the phone to Arizona, then back to Sofia. “Are you ready?”

Sofia nodded into the camera, the phone shaking in her unsteady hands.

Arizona popped into view, “Surprise!”

“Momma!”

“Hi, baby girl! Are you being good for Sydney?”

“Yes…” the little girl frowned. “Why are you with Mami?”

“Oh, uh…,” Arizona looked to Callie.

“Sweetie, we are both stuck in the storm,” Callie leaned in so Sofia could see them both.

“I want to be there too!” Sofia started crying. “Come get me!”

“We can’t Sofia, I’m sorry,” Arizona said.

“I want my mommies!” Sydney came and took the phone from the young girl. “Sorry about that guys. She was having a good time. We made waffles. I don’t know what...” Sydney was cut off by Sofia grabbing the phone, “Momma, come get me. Please. I want to be with you and Mami!”

***

It took them awhile, but the two finally managed to get Sofia to calm down. They both knew very well what the problem was. They were together, something that rarely happened, and Sofia didn’t want to miss a moment of it.

Callie flopped down on the couch, “That didn’t go as planned.”

“Didn’t go as planned?” Arizona snapped. She was still wiping the tears from her eyes. “That was heart wrenching, Callie! That child just reached into my chest and pulled out my heart.”

“I know. We… we need to do more things together… as a family. Then maybe she’d…”

“But we aren’t a family, Callie, not anymore,” Arizona fumed. She put her hand on the back of her neck and rubbed at the tension. She turned to face Callie on the couch, “The truth of the matter is, you and Sofia are a family, and Sofia and I are a family. All together we’re… we’re nothing.”

“Don’t say that!”

“You and I are divorced. You have… had a girlfriend. Eventually, I’m going to find someone. She needs to see that.”

“I don’t want us to live separate lives. I want us to…”

“What? What do you want us to be?”

“I don’t know what I want us to be, Arizona, that’s part of the problem! That’s why I… god, you are so confusing. You confuse me… it’s hard to think when you are around.”

“Well there is something we have in common. You confuse the hell out of me too, Callie.”

“Maybe we should…,” Callie started, but the red phone by the front door chose that moment to ring, startling both women. Callie jumped to answer it, but Arizona grimaced in pain and grabbed her neck.

“Hello,” Callie said into the telephone handset, she turned to watch Arizona while the person on the other end of the phone talked. She looked as though she was in pain. Callie said a few ‘uh huhs’ and ‘yeses’ and ‘I understands’ before finally hanging up.

“That was Luna, she said the wind was supposed to pick up today and that if we lose power, there’s a generator in utility room off the back porch,” Callie couldn’t pretend she didn’t notice Arizona’s pained expression anymore. “Are you okay?”

“No, it’s my neck. The couch wasn’t as comfortable to sleep on as it looks… and then when the phone rang I kind of tweaked it. There’s a knot.”

Callie moved to sit next Arizona on the couch, “Here, let me.” She turned Arizona so she was facing forward, her back to Callie. “I’m going to touch you now, is that okay?” Arizona nodded, so Callie gently placed her hands on Arizona’s neck and shoulders. She immediately found the knotted muscle and got to work.

Arizona closed her eyes and forced herself not to moan at the feeling of Callie’s hands on her body. It’d been so long since Callie--no, since anyone--had touched her like that. Callie was gentle, yet firm, her hands were warm and healing. She sighed when the knot was gone, but Callie’s fingers kept up their gentle exploration of Arizona’s neck and shoulders. Arizona bit her lip to keep herself from crying out in pleasure, she needed Callie to stop, but she couldn’t bring herself to stop her. Callie’s hands ran over her shoulders and down her arms, and back up again. She could feel Callie’s breath on her neck as the other woman leaned in closer. Callie’s full lips were just a hair’s breadth away from her skin.

“Please, don’t,” Arizona forced herself to say. As much as she wanted Callie’s lips on her skin, she couldn’t allow it. She wasn’t Callie’s to touch anymore and Callie wasn‘t hers. And that mattered.

“Arizona,” Callie breathed. 

Arizona turned to face Callie, their noses were practically touching, and their gazes were locked. Callie tilted her head slightly, so she could move even closer. Her eyes went closed, “Callie, what are you doing.”

“I don’t know,” Callie’s words ghosted across Arizona’s lips. “Does it matter?”

Arizona pulled away and stood up and backed away from the couch. She took a deep breath to compose herself, “It does.”

***

The rest of the afternoon was spent about as far apart as two people in a one room cabin could be. Callie sat in a chair by the fire and read a book of poetry that she’s found on the built-in bookshelves. Love poems. Every one she read-- every line--she could only think of one person. Her eyes left the page and glanced upwards to the loft where Arizona had been pacing for hours, but was now quiet. She could only assume Arizona was napping.

Callie put the book down and sighed. Perhaps she’d pushed too far, but she couldn’t help how she felt. She had suppressed it for so long, trying to do what she thought was right for them. It was relief to finally admit to herself that there was still something there between her and Arizona; something that it seemed would never fully go away. Something she decided, at least on her part, she wanted to explore, but she knew that decision wasn’t just hers to make. Callie had been the one to end it. Callie had walked away and tried to move on. She had to let Arizona steer. She had to give herself over to Arizona. For better or for worse, Callie had to let go and let Arizona lead them to their new beginning. She could lay it all out there for the other woman to see, but the decision to embark on this journey had to be Arizona’s. 

Callie’d been hurt so many times in her life, and that fear of being hurt had never allowed her to fully be in the moment. The fear that Arizona wouldn’t have stayed with her if given the choice, had led to many destructive, desperate actions on Callie’s part over the years. But now she was free, and so was Arizona, so if they chose to start over, Callie knew it would be real. It wouldn’t be some desperate attempt at saving what they had. What they had was over. It had been gone for years. What she wanted now was something new. She just had to have faith that Arizona felt the same way.

***

Arizona laid on the bed in the loft and stared at the ceiling. The wind outside was whipping and swirling and she could hear the fire crackling in the fireplace below. She was simultaneously kicking herself for almost letting Callie kiss her and for not letting Callie kiss her. She wanted it so bad, she wanted Callie’s lips on her own. She wanted Callie’s lips everywhere. She missed sex. She missed Callie. But she wanted more. She wanted all of Callie, she always had. But what did Callie want? It would be so easy to fall into bed with Callie. It was obvious that Callie wanted it, that she would be receptive to something physical. Was that all Callie wanted? And if it was, would that be enough for Arizona?

Could she survive being with Callie that way? Could she survive this weekend and then go back to what they were? Back to being ex-wives and colleagues. Back to barely being friends. She growled to herself in frustration, and covered her head with the pillow.

***

When Arizona woke a few hours later, she was surprised to find the cabin mostly dark. She grabbed her phone from the nightstand and saw that it was just after seven pm and had she slept the afternoon away.

She slipped her leg back on and carefully made her way down the stairs. Callie was in the kitchen pulling things out of the refrigerator, so Arizona cleared her throat to get her attention.

Callie jumped, and almost dropped the stalk of celery she was holding, “Jesus, Arizona, you startled me.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice still rough from sleep. “It seems like I slept forever.”

“You did,” Callie smiled and place the vegetables on the counter. “I didn’t want to wake you. I know the couch was uncomfortable last night. I tried to nap on it earlier and couldn’t sleep at all, so tonight we are sharing the king bed…,” Arizona opened her mouth to protest, but Callie held up her hand to stop her, “there is plenty of room on it. I promise I won’t make you any more uncomfortable than you already are.”

“Callie,” Arizona breathed. “Don’t. I’m not uncomfortable. I’m fine, it’s fine… we can share the bed. We’re both adults.”

The brilliant smile she received in return made Arizona almost rethink sharing the bed, but she’d already agreed. There was no turning back now.

“I’m fixing some stir fry for dinner. Why don’t you go shower while I get it started,” Callie suggested.

Arizona chuckled, “Do I smell?”

“No, but your hair is,” Callie waved her hand in the direction of Arizona’s head, “is standing straight up.”

Arizona’s hands immediately went to her hair and she could feel the mess, “I think I slept with the pillow on my head.”

“I can tell,” Callie smiled. “The shower is nice though. It has a built in seat, so…”

“Thanks,” Arizona replied. “I can do it without one, but that certainly helps.”

“Good, good,” Callie said. “Uh, don’t take too long. Dinner’s in half an hour.”

***

Twenty minutes later, Arizona emerged from the bathroom feeling refreshed. Callie was putting the finishing touches on dinner, so she went to the small wine cooler behind the bar to look for some wine to pair with their meal.

“White or red?” she called out.

Callie knew exactly what she was talking about, without even looking up from the stove. “It’s veggie heavy, so white? Whatever they have is fine.”

“Got it,” Arizona pulled out a Sauvignon Blanc and uncorked it to let it breathe. She grabbed two glasses and brought them, and the bottle, to the table. “I’m starving.”

Callie plated their food and joined the blonde at the small table, “Good, because dinner is served.”

“Thank you,” Arizona said.

“It’s no biggie, you fixed breakfast.”

Arizona poured them each a glass of wine. She handed Callie her’s and their fingers brushed. Arizona swallowed, but forced a smile onto her face.

Callie took a sip of the wine and moaned, “Mmm, this is good.” She turned the bottle so she could see the brand and bouquet. “I’ll have to look for this in Seattle.”

Arizona took a sip of her own, “It is good. Pike and Western could probably get it for you, if they don’t already have it.”

“Yeah, we should…,” Callie caught herself, “I’ll have to check when we get home.”

They ate in companionable silence for a few minutes. The food was fantastic, and the wine loosened Arizona up just enough to finally ask the question that had been on her mind since last night.

“What… uh, what happened with you and Penny?”

Callie looked up from her plate, but didn’t say anything.

“If you don’t mind me asking.”

“Of course I don’t mind,” Callie replied. She tilted her head and asked, “You really want to know?”

“Yeah,” Arizona nodded, “I do.”

Callie took another bite of her food, and thought about how to explain it to Arizona. She finally settled on just being honest, “She just wasn’t what I was looking for.”

“I thought she made you happy?” Arizona said. Happier than you’ve ever been, she left unsaid.

“She did, at first,” Callie explained. “She made me laugh. And she made me smile. Things were good... until they weren’t.”

“But what made them not good?”

“I don’t know,” Callie sighed. “Perhaps it was the stuff with Meredith… or maybe that was just an excuse, but it allowed me to take off those rose colored glasses I’d been wearing and see the real her. I’d been blinded… I wanted so bad to be in love with someone who…” wasn’t you, Callie wanted to say, but couldn’t. Not yet. She settled for, “I just wanted too much, and she wasn’t the right person. I always want too much.”

“You have a lot of love to give, Callie, and… someday, some lucky person is going to realize that and in return for your love, they’ll give you the moon.”

***

Dinner consumed, the two women retired to the soft rug in front of the fire to pass the time with a deck of cards that Arizona found in drawer. They talked a little more about Penny and Callie’s search for happiness. Then the subject turned to Meredith and Alex and the close relationship they both saw forming.

As the night wore on, their conversation meandered and turned, never on any one subject for too long. They were comfortable and enjoying each other’s company.

Eventually, Arizona had to remove her leg to make continuing to sit on the floor bearable, and Callie went to the bar to find something else for them to sip on to give her some privacy to do so.

Callie perused the liquor bottles, but nothing stood out until she came across a bottle of Macallan 25. It was Mark’s favorite; a very expensive twenty-five year old scotch. Her stomach churned at the memory of the last time she’d consumed it. She took a deep breath and looked over at Arizona who was back on the floor, her leg off to the side, shuffling cards, and made a decision. She grabbed some glasses and the bottle of scotch and returned to her spot next to Arizona.

“What’d you get us?”

“Scotch,” Callie opened it and poured it in the glass, without speaking. Her hand shook as she handed Arizona her tumbler of whiskey.

“Callie? What’s wrong?”

Callie didn’t answer, she just poured her own drink and held it up as if to toast. Arizona followed her lead and held her own glass aloft. Tears filled Callie’s eyes as she simply said, “cheers,” and brought the cup to her lips.

Arizona’s brow furrowed, but she again followed Callie’s lead and took a sip of the whiskey. It’s aroma was powerful, and it left hints of honey and caramel on her tongue. It was smoother than any whiskey she’d ever tasted. She licked her lips and said, “It’s good.”

“It’d better be,” Callie chuckled sadly, “It’s about a thousand bucks a bottle.”

“Callie! Oh my god, why did you open that?”

“Luna said we could have whatever we want, and I wanted this.”

“Why?”

Callie didn’t answer for a few, very long, minutes.

“It was Mark’s favorite and I wanted to replace the last memory I have of this with something good.” Callie again looked as though she were going to cry.

Arizona could tell something important was about to happen. She didn’t know what, but Callie looked so vulnerable. Arizona desperately wanted to hold her, but she didn’t move. She didn’t want to spook Callie.

“What is it, Callie?” She asked quietly, not wanting to break the stillness that had overcome them.

The fire crackled and roared behind them, casting an otherworldly glow on the room. Callie took another sip of the scotch, and Arizona couldn’t help but notice her hands were still shaky. Callie set the scotch aside and held out her hand for Arizona to take. She did so, without a second thought.

“When your plane was missing, I sat in the chapel for three days.”

Arizona’s eyes went wide with surprise at the subject, but she didn’t say anything.

Callie unconsciously played with Arizona’s fingers, her mind’s eye elsewhere, “I prayed there. I slept there. What little food I could consume, I ate there. In the hospital chapel. Bailey watched Sofia until my dad got there. Mom didn’t come,” she added, unnecessarily. Arizona knew. Despite knowing that Lucia hadn’t been there for Callie, she didn’t know what else had happened or why Callie was telling her now. She waited with baited breath for the other woman to continue, “On the third day, my mother finally called me… and.. and..,” Callie’s voice broke, “she said to me… that perhaps God was judging you for….” She took a few deep breaths, and continued, “I couldn’t believe she would suggest such a thing. I was so mad, Arizona. I was angry and hurt and grieving, because…  what my mother said… it was horrible. I was so mad, I smashed my phone on the pew. I smashed it into pieces. I stood there and I was so angry… I stared at the cross for a long time and that was it. That was the moment I lost my faith. That’s when I gave up. I ran… I ran out of the hospital and into the rain and I screamed and screamed my anger at God… and you for getting on that plane,” Callie finally made eye contact with Arizona. She had tears in her eyes, but her expression remained neutral, “but nothing happened. The world kept spinning. I walked around for awhile, not knowing what to do. I couldn’t go home, Dad was there with Sofia, and you were there… you were everywhere. So I went to Mark’s. I found his special stash of liquor. His 25 year old bottle of Macallan…,” Callie took deep breath, “and I drank it all. When I woke up the next day… I was laying on the bathroom floor, I’d puked all over myself… I was a mess. I got up and stumbled across the hall to our home… and that’s when Daddy told me you’d been found. They’d tried to find me, but I didn’t answer my phone. I wasn’t there for you. Bailey and the others went to get you, but I got lost in my grief.. I wasn’t there.”

“Callie,” Arizona breathed. She had no idea what to say.

“I realized that if God was testing you, you passed. But I’d failed. I failed you that day, and I failed you again when I couldn’t save your leg. And I kept failing you… every day after that. I tried so hard to be what you needed, but I failed us.”

“Callie, _you were_... You were what I needed. But I was lost, too,” Arizona said. “Don’t you understand? If God was testing me, my test didn’t end when I was rescued! I was tested every day, and I failed us too.”

“We both failed us,” Callie admitted.

“I’m sorry,” Arizona said.

“Me, too,” Callie added.

“I forgive you,” Arizona whispered. She stared into Callie’s brown eyes, eyes that were full of regrets. Regrets that mirrored her own.

Callie gazed back, “I forgive you, too.”

After a moment, she pulled her hand from Arizona’s grasp to wipe at the tears that had streaked her face.

“Let me,” Arizona whispered. She moved toward Callie and leaned in close, her hand gently cupped the brunette’s soft cheek, and her thumb wiped away the tears that had fallen. “Callie, I want to kiss you.”

Callie’s breath hitched, “What’s stopping you?”

“I’m afraid,” but even as the words left her mouth, Arizona moved to straddle Callie’s legs.

“Of me?” Callie asked. She helped Arizona position herself so that they were face-to-face. Callie’s back was to the chair and the fire crackled and snapped beside them.

“Of wanting you,” Arizona answered honestly, “Of still wanting you so much.”

She could feel Arizona’s breath on her lips, she wanted to close the gap, but needed Arizona to make that decision. “If you want me, I’m here. All you have to do is….”

Arizona closed the gap. Her lips met Callie’s and it was like coming in from the cold. The warmth of rescue. She held Callie’s head in her hands and guided their lips into a passionate dance.

Callie fought her need to take over, allowing Arizona to set the pace. Arizona sensed her reluctance and pulled back from the kiss.

“I want this, do you?” Arizona asked between heaving breaths.

“I do,” Callie responded. “I so do, I just want you to be sure…”

“Calle, please.”

That was all the reassurance Callie needed. Their lips met again, and Callie’s hands found Arizona’s waist. She grasp her hips and pulled her in closer. Arizona moaned into Callie’s mouth and squirmed as Callie’s hands slid up her sides, and her fingers ghosted over her ribs. Arizona pulled back again to remove her shirt and give Callie better access. The shirt tossed aside, Callie’s mouth immediately found her neck and chest. Her soft kisses and hot breath made Arizona insane with desire. “Please,” she begged.

“Anything you want,” Callie’s lips made a promise on Arizona’s own, “everything you want.”

“Touch me,” Arizona asked, “love me.”

“As you wish,” her left hand found the clasp of Arizona’s bra, while her right toyed with the waistband of her pants. Callie took her time, wanting to savor every moment as if it were the last. She let her fingers explore Arizona’s soft stomach and hips, all the while worshiping her neck, then breasts with her lips.

Arizona threw her head back when Callie’s hand finally found it’s way home. She moaned as she surrendered to Callie’s touch. She nearly cried with the sensation of it all. Callie was everywhere. In her mind, body, and soul. She was consumed with the ecstasy of Callie’s frantic exploration and all too quickly she shuddered her release into Callie’s searing touch. She slumped forward and her head landed with a thud onto Callie’s shoulder. She was overwhelmed by the sensation, and had to reach down between her legs to grab Callie’s wrist. She needed to catch her breath, and she couldn’t do that with Callie’s hand still caressing the overly sensitive area.

“Are you okay?” Callie breathed into her ear, causing Arizona to tremble even more.

Arizona could hear the fear in Callie’s voice and feel in the way Callie now held her so desperately tight. She pulled back and looked into Callie’s worried eyes. “I’m perfect,” kiss, “You’re perfect. It’s just… it’s been so long… you barely touched me and I… I mmm,” Callie stopped her with another burning kiss. One that reignited the fire in them both. At first Arizona gave in to the ravenous kiss, then she pulled back, she wanted to finish her thought, “I missed you.”

“Oh god, how I missed you too.”

“What does this mean?”

“What do you want it to mean?”

Arizona knew exactly what she wanted it to mean. She wanted Callie back. She wanted to be a family again, but she was still afraid. “I’m not sure.”

A flash of disappointment came across Callie’s face, but she quickly covered it. “Well, I know that I want you. I want all of you, but if you aren’t sure… Then let’s take tonight… this weekend… and be together. We can have all night and all day tomorrow to reacquaint ourselves with each other, and if when tomorrow is over you still don’t know… if you have any reservations. I’ll understand. I hope you don’t, but I’ll respect your wish and we can go back to our separate lives. We can go back to being Callie and Arizona… ex-wives and co-parents. But just in case you aren’t sure: I want another shot at us.”

Arizona wanted more than anything to declare her undying love right then and there, but something held her back. “Okay. It’s a deal. When our time here is over, if we have any reservations…”

“I won’t,” Callie interrupted.

Arizona smiled and repeated,  “If we have any reservations….”

“We’ll pretend like none of this happened.”

“So we just have a free sex filled Valentine’s Day with no obligations?”

Callie looked at the clock above the mantle and smiled. It was after midnight, “It _is_ Valentine’s Day.” She pulled Arizona into a kiss, “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” Arizona grinned into the kiss. “Take me upstairs.”

“As you wish.”

***

They made love for hours, finally succumbing to exhaustion near dawn. They slept until late almost noon, when finally, the need for food drew them back downstairs. They ate lunch quickly, then returned to their warm cocoon upstairs.

“It’s still Valentine’s Day,” Callie said. They laid side-by-side facing each other.

Arizona held Callie’s hand in her own, absentmindedly played with her fingers, “It is.”

“I think we should have a date tonight,” Callie suggested. “Dresses. Dinner… maybe some dancing.”

“I don’t have a dress.”

“I bought you one at Macy’s the other night,” Callie admitted. It felt like a lifetime ago.

“Presumptuous much?” Arizona teased.

“Just hopeful,” Callie replied.

“I would love to have a Valentine’s Date with you,” Arizona grinned.

***

They ate their dinner in front of the fire, then danced to some old love songs on a cd that Callie found in the stereo.

Arizona hadn’t felt so loved in years. And that’s when she realized what had been holding her back. Why she hadn’t immediately agreed to give them another chance, despite desperately wanting to. Callie hadn’t mentioned love. Callie hadn’t said the words. To be fair, she hadn’t either. She could tell, though, that Callie felt them. She could see it in her eyes, could feel it in her touch. But still, something was keeping Callie from saying them.

The song that they were slow dancing to ended, and Callie pulled back, “Do you want to go give that heart-shaped hot tub a try?”

“Did you also buy bathing suits?”

“Arizona… we don’t need bathing suits.”

“Oh,” the corner of her mouth quirked up.

“Come on,” Callie laughed.

***

The glass enclosed room was warm and steamy, which contrasted the last dying gasps of the blizzard outside.

Arizona adjusted the temperature of the water, while Callie opened a bottle of champagne.

She poured them two glasses and sat both on the edge of the hot tub. Arizona looked nervous, so Callie took the lead. She shimmied out of her tight black dress and hung it on hook by the door.

Arizona swallowed hard at the sight of Callie in her matching bra and panties. She’d seen her in every possible state of dress over the years, but there was something about Callie in sexy underwear that made Arizona’s mouth go dry.

The staring didn’t go unnoticed by Callie, who just winked and dropped her panties to the floor. “It’s now or never, Arizona. The snow is stopping, we’ll likely be out of here by tomorrow.”

“Now is good,” Arizona replied. She removed her own clothes, and her leg, and sat on the edge of the hot tub.

Calle stepped in first, then helped Arizona turn and slide down into the warm jetted water.

They sat side-by-side in the hot water and watched as the last of the snow fell and the clouds gave way to the rising moon.

“This is nice,” Arizona hummed. Her head lay on Callie’s shoulder.

“It is,” Callie agreed.

“Callie?”

“Hmm?” Callie’s eyes were closed and she was completely relaxed by the water and Arizona’s warm body next to her.

“That last night we were together… did you know that you were going to leave me?”

Callie opened her eyes and turned to face Arizona. “No,” she shook her head emphatically.

“Because it felt like...”

“I swear,” Callie interrupted, “I had no idea.”

“I wish…,” Arizona hesitated.

“What?”

“I wish we’d had a better therapist.”

Callie smiled, “Me too. She sucked.”

“This time apart, though…,” Arizona swallowed. “I admit, we needed it.”

“We did. I did. I needed the time to truly forgive you, Arizona, and… I needed the time to heal myself. I realized that to be truly happy in a relationship you have to have a happy relationship with yourself. I didn’t. I needed to find that happiness within myself.”

“I know,” Arizona took a deep breath, this was it, she was going to say it. “I never stopped loving you, though. Even on my worst days, the days I hated you… I still loved you.”

Callie voice faltered with emotion she was feeling. “I loved you, too, so much. Walking out of that therapist's office was the hardest thing I ever did, but I had to. It had to happen then, while the love was still there, before we destroyed it all. I had to do it then, so that this moment could be possible.”

But Callie still hadn’t said it in the present tense.

“But do you still?”

“Still what?”

“Callie, I’m asking if you still love me?”

“I do,” Callie exclaimed. “I love you. I love you, so much. I never stopped. Not for a second. I carried your heart with me. I always loved you, and I always will,” she took a deep breath, “It’s you, Arizona. It’s always you. ‘You are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you’. I love you.”

Arizona didn’t say anything at first, which worried Callie.

“Arizona?”

“Get me out of this hot tub, Calliope. Take me upstairs and make love to me again and let me make love to you. Then we are going home together, because... I still love you, too.”

“You do?”

“I do. And this time, it’s going to be forever. I won’t accept anything less.”

***

Epilogue

The following day Ed had the snow cleared enough that Callie and Arizona could walk to the main lodge to check out. He’d cleared their car and the parking lot, and the plows had come through on the main roads early that morning. The word on the street was, the interstate looked fine. The state had done a good job of keeping up with the snow. They’d need the all wheel drive to get over the Pass, but they’d be in Seattle by sundown.

Luna and Helina watched them closely; they shared smiles and glances like only a couple could.

“I trust you found the cabin to your liking?” Luna asked Callie with a wink.

“We did,” Callie responded.

“It was amazing,” Arizona added.

The chatted with Luna and Helina for the better part of half an hour. They gushed about the cabin, and how much they enjoyed their stay. How it had started rough, but ended on the highest of notes.

“That cabin was part of your destiny,” Luna said. “The stars aligned just perfectly to get you to the right place at just the right time.”

“I’m not sure I believed in destiny before,” Arizona mused. “Four years ago, me getting on that plane in Alex’s place was the worst thing that ever happened to me. This time, though, it was the best,” she turned to Callie and continued, “It led us back together.”

“Alex’s unfortunate stomach bug was a blessing in disguise,” Callie said as they made to leave. She held the door open for Arizona, “Remind me to buy him a car when we get back to Seattle. Something expensive.”

“He does love a nice road penis.”

Callie laughed, and held out her hand, which Arizona took gratefully. The two women left the lodge hand in hand, and the large wooden door closed behind them.

“We should set aside the honeymoon cabin for next Valentine’s day,” Helina said.

Luna nodded in agreement.

“They’ll be back.”


End file.
